Behind the Song: “Young, Dumb, and in Love”

It was this week last year that I got the letter I sing about in “Young, Dumb, and in Love.” It only seems appropriate to talk about that time now given everything that has happened since then. I remember sitting in my car, red envelope in hand, tears in my eyes, as I read a note from the first love of my life. We hadn’t spoken in about a year, and the letter was full of regret and hope, sadness and excitement. It was a reconciliation of sorts, a confession of feelings, mixed in with some very personal, heart-wrenching details about what had happened during the year of us not communicating. Quite frankly, the letter shattered my heart, but it also sparked this reminiscence of what it was like to be in love for the first time without ever admitting it to the other party. I was living in a movie moment, something I always seemed to be doing when it came to this person. I couldn’t quite figure out what my response to that confession wrapped in a pretty, red envelope would be. Thankfully, it was a Saturday, which meant that I had a day to really digest what I wanted to say.  

What resulted was the skeleton of the song you hear today.

I was already one recording session into my album when I got this letter, and I knew that the emotions I was experiencing reading it were emotions that were incredibly intertwined with the record, but I don’t think I realized the weight that little note held at that moment. Van and I had recorded about six of the eight songs, and we had another session on the calendar. The timing was perfect, as was the instinct. I sent her my rough lyric-sketch with a few other song proposals and she responded with:

We remotely edited the lyrics and Van got to work on recording some of the instrumentation, as we wouldn’t be getting back together in the studio for a couple of months. I was in an orthodontist's office when I got the first voice memo back from Van, and I was instantly transported to what it felt like to be a teenager with a crush. I probably looked ridiculous to the patients in the waiting room, headphones on and head bopping with a big smile on my face.

The studio session for this song was emotionally charged, to put it lightly. This song vocally pushed me out of my comfort zone, and though I denied it back then, I was subconsciously over feeling young, dumb, and in love. I was craving something raw, mature, and passionate from someone who couldn’t offer those things to me. I was frustrated with myself (and somewhere in the cloud, there’s probably a recording of me completely breaking down during a vocal pass). One of the things I respect most about Van is that, instead of dismissing those feelings, she pushed me to lean into them. She sang into the microphone with me while I cried through the chorus and she held my hand and brushed away my self-doubt. Van knew I could sing this song long before I did, and her gentle push into the pool of authenticity pulled at a part of me that I didn’t know existed. To this day, “Young, Dumb, and in Love” has some of my best vocal work.

I flew home from Florida with a rough mix of the whole record, and this song was the one that stuck with me. I found myself listening to it on repeat, feeling a funny tickle of pride, excitement, and nervousness sitting on my chest every time I played it back. I would lay awake at night in the dark with my headphones on listening to this song over, and over, and over again. It just made sense for this one to be the title track, and for this one to be the first song on the record.

I never found out what the person this song is about thought or felt about it. By the time Young, Dumb, and in Love was out, they were too. I mailed them back the letter they sent me with my CD (which they had ordered before we ended things). I had a broken heart and a desire for a new chapter. This one was tough to talk about and listen to.

In the months since my release and my most recent breakup, this song has offered me great comfort. It’s taught me how to do scary things, push myself out of my comfort zone, and be okay with being vulnerable. It’s inspired me to write melodies outside of my sweet spot. It’s urged me to reflect on the intricacies of emotion and honesty. It’s real and it’s a reminder that it’s good to feel things and talk about them.

I feel incredibly lucky to have this song as a foundation for authentic love and authentic musicianship. And I feel even luckier getting to share that with all of you.

Thank you for being here, and thank you for listening.

With love,

P.S… More Behind the Song

Lyric/Credit Liner Notes

Songs that feel like/remind me of “Young, Dumb, and in Love”